You can’t hate, dislike, or shame yourself into change.
I heard a version of this quote on a podcast yesterday, and tweaked it a bit to add clarity for myself. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts, so here it is:
On a spectrum, hate, dislike, and shame are all the same emotions, but with varying degrees. It may be human nature to feel shame. It may be human nature to dislike aspects of ourselves (usually physical). It may even be human nature to sometimes hate ourselves, or to hate something about ourselves.
None of those will bring about the change we want.
They’re actually counterproductive.
Wallowing in those feelings causes the opposite effect from what we want.
You want to change something. I want to change something … Then we have to love ourselves first — flaws and all.
[Article 0013 of Samuel Said]
